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BLACKENSTEIN (1973)
Director: William Levey
Xenon

When American International inaugurated their line of "blaxploitation" horror flicks with BLACULA, it was inevitable that some genius was going to turn to Mary Shelley's literary creation for inspiration. The outcome is probably the worst black horror film of all time, making the AIP counterparts look like slick multi-million-dollar epics in comparison. Shoddy and incompetent in almost every way, BLACKENSTEIN is either very boring, or enjoyable trash, depending on how close your mouth has dropped to the floor before it's all over.

Female scientist Winifred Walker (Ivory Stone) arrives at the California mansion of "Dr. Stein" (former TV "Lone Ranger" John Hart) wanting to help her boyfriend. The boyfriend, Eddie (Joe De Sue) has just returned from Vietnam where he lost his arms and legs in a land mine accident. Dr. Stein is brilliant in the area of DNA, even winning a Nobel Prize, so he is able to graft new arms and legs on the hapless Eddie. After the operation, everything seems to be going swell, but Dr. Stein's servant (Roosevelt Jackson) becomes obsessed with Winifred, who is still in love with Eddie. Since he can't have her, he mixes up Eddie's DNA before injection, and what results is a hulking monster with bloated features, square-shaped afro, new suit, and shiny dress boots. The monster grunts, walks around really slowly with his arms extended, goes out and kills some folks, and comes back to his cozy bunk with no one in the house taking notice.

Not only does BLACKENSTEIN embrace numerous Frankenstein film clichés, it proceeds from one inconsistent absurd scene to the next. Our lumbering monster's victims are mostly women who have their breasts exposed and their intestines ripped out in exaggerated fashion. There's an obligatory scene in a nightclub, where a comedian named Andy-C tells a bad joke about a talking dog and introduces soul singer Cardella Di Milo! The overbearing library music blares over shots of the original laboratory equipment from Universal's first two Frankenstein films, supplied by Ken Strickfaden who also dug the gadgets out for Al Adamson's DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN several years earlier. The familiar electronic apparatuses are displayed against a roomy blank background--I suspect Strickfaden didn't want them taken out of storage, forcing the filmmakers to conduct business where he could keep an eye on things.

What really makes BLACKENSTEIN so notoriously bad is the acting. We've all seen bad acting before, but it really can't get any worse than this. Joe De Sue is by far the worst actor ever in a horror movie, and it's no wonder that he and most of the less-seasoned cast members never did anything else. Before he is turned monstrous, De Sue delivers his lines with absolutely no emotion or range, and his blank expressions resemble a bloated Flip Wilson in a coma. Watch his reactions to a scene where he is berated by an improvising racist hospital attendant (played by familiar stocky character actor John Dennis, using the name "Bob Brophy" here). You won't believe it. Some veteran actors try to rise above the underlying muck, but even stripper legend Liz Renay (in see-through nightie) is wasted in a cameo as one of the monster's blood-soaked victims?

Xenon's DVD of BLACKENSTEIN is for the most part a sorry affair. It utilizes the same old video master, so those who want to upgrade their VHS copies can do so without expecting anything but the preservation of the title on DVD. The print source is pretty worn, colors are gray and lifeless, and the general muddiness make darker scenes difficult to see. It's also full frame, and a good example of why open matte films look so out of proportion when not presented in their original aspect ratio (in this case it should be 1.85:1). Audio is ok, but lots of surface noise is evident. There are no extras except for some trailers for other Xenon releases, including a hilarious one for Rudy Ray Moore's THE HUMAN TORNADO. (George R. Reis)

 

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