Director: Steno (Stefano Vanzina)

A Sicilian Viking intends to conquer Denmark and discovers liberated women in the Italian sex comedy THE BLONDE IN THE BLUE MOVIE.

Executive Rosario Trapanese (comic actor Lando Buzzanca, THE EROTICIST) arrives in Copenhagen to launch a line of Borelon shoes. Despite decrying the notion of being a typical womanizing Italian to his Danish associate Larsen (Renzo Marignano, SEVEN MURDERS FOR SCOTLAND YARD), Trapanese is ogling every bare female body part in town from the nude models for their ad campaign (claiming that the shoes are so fantastic that “no one will notice you’re naked”) to Karen (Pamela Tiffin, KILL ME MY LOVE), a leggy university student he constantly encounters. He manages to constantly strike out with hookers and swinging wives (at a “happening” where “spin the bottle” is the game of choice for a bunch of middle-aged Scandinavian men and their disproportionately hotter spouses). The next time Rosario catches sight of Karen, he takes chase; however, Karen rebuffs him because she has fallen in love with him but does not want to give up her freedom. Rosario manages to ensnare her into marriage because he believes her “freedom” extends to her pursuing a degree and working part time.

During a solo trip back to Milan, however, he discovers that his wife is the star of the blue movie “Miss Aphrodite” that he has smuggled into the country for boss Borelon (Gigi Ballista, THE BIRDS, THE BEES AND THE ITALIANS). He returns to Copenhagen and confronts Karen, who runs home to her parents. Rosario cannot believe that Karen is not ashamed and that her father has no problem with his daughter acting in porn; however, Karen’s teacher Professor Grutekoor (Ferdy Mayne, THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS) enlightens him about Denmark’s sexual revolution and that Karen had only done the one film for a director regarded as progressive rather than a pornographer. Putting his jealousy in check, Rosario wins Karen back but discovers that she signed a contract to do another film. She offers to get out of the contract but the producer (Steffen Zacharias, MACHINE GUN McCAIN) points out the fine print levying a hefty penalty against the couple if she does not do the film. Will Rosario risk his reputation to ask for help or his manhood by allowing Karen to do the film?

Although the front cover identifies the film as THE BLONDE IN THE BLUE MOVIE, the back cover correctly states that the onscreen title is the US release title NO ONE WILL NOTICE YOU’RE NAKED; however, the text at the bottom alongside the rating, running time, and catalog number identifies the film with a translation of the Italian title IL VICHINGO VENUTO DAL SUD (“The Viking Who Came From the South”). The presence of Buzzanca and director Steno (aka Stefano Vanzina) should clue viewers more versed in Italian exploitation that this is a softcore-lite sex comedy meant to appeal to an older audience seeking harmless titillation (the film’s producer Anis Nohra was also behind THE STATUE with David Niven and Virna Lisi). Despite the nudity and the portrayal of the porn business, the film is rather chaste: Tiffen – who did a Playboy pictorial in 1969 – is only naked in the projected film but not in bed with Rosario or on the film set later in the film, and the classroom demonstration scene focuses more on the reactions of the observers). The script contrasts supposedly conservate Italian attitudes towards sex (Rosario’s own reflection calls him on his hypocrisy) with apparently liberated Danish ones (the “progressive” porno filmmakers are just as ruthless and exploitative as in any other business); but the audiences will be less focused on the relationship between the two leads and anticipating the sight of more undraped flesh (and they’ll be disappointed).

Buzzanca seems to be a good lead, but the mugging and physical comedy wear thin. Tiffen fares better, but the American actress is playing a Dane and is dubbed by a very familiar voice artist –the film was dubbed at International Recording, so most of the dubbers sound familiar – Tiffen made a couple more films in Italy before marrying Edmondo Danon, son of producer Marcello Danon [BLACK BELLY OF THE TARANTULA]). Mayne dubs himself and lends some seriousness to the film, and I’m quite sure THE SINFUL DWARF himself pops up as a hotdog vendor. An uncredited Elizabeth Turner (WAVES OF LUST) plays one of Karen’s slinky schoolmates. Copenhagen is shown to attractive effect, but it’s all the touristy stuff (like Castle Elsinore) during the couple’s romps. The score by Armando Trovajoli – who died last month – is largely unmemorable other than an uncredited opening and closing credits theme song, but the set design by Pier Luigi Basile (CONAN THE BARBARIAN) and Enrico Fiorentini (SALON KITTY) has some interesting pop art touches (mostly in Karen’s loft). Steno’s son Carlo Vanzina (future director of the eighties giallo NOTHING UNDERNEATH) served as assistant director.

Retromedia’s single-layer, progressive anamorphic transfer comes from a hard-matted 1.85:1 source. The green vertical scratches appear on top of the slivers of matting at the top and bottom of the frame (the matte bars also tend to shift up and down with each reel). The image is somewhat drab, but the more saturated colors in the lighting, wardrobe, and sets are still bold. The print carries a 1981 copyright on the title card attributed to D&R Investments. The English mono dub features some Italian and Danish dialogue as befits the setting, and the Dolby Digital 2.0 rendering is very clean. The film has yet to be released on DVD in Italy – it was released on both VHS and Super 8 – so I’m not sure of the original running time, but Dominique Boschero (LIBIDO) and Victoria Zinny (KEOMA) strangely have little screen time (and a gimmick in which Rosario talks to his more frank conscience in the mirror appears rather abruptly more than halfway through). There are no extras. (Eric Cotenas)