MS. MAGNIFICENT (1979)
Director: Joe Sherman
Vinegar Syndrome

MS. MAGNIFICENT "does two things extremely well…" and one of them got her a lawsuit, the results of which are revealed on Vinegar Syndrome's uncut (but not uncensored) DVD.

By day, PRETTY PEACHES' Desiree Cousteau is intrepid L.A. Times reporter Linda Kent; by night, she's… well, she was "Superwoman" until Marvel sued and the filmmakers just blanked out her alter ego's name at every point it is uttered on the soundtrack. Besides fighting crime, she also saves lives, including film producer Charlie (John Seeman, TEN LITTLE MAIDENS) who she prevents from jumping off a rooftop by screwing him. When her boyfriend John (Larry Davis, PLAYTHINGS) disappears, Superwoman searches for him by night while the paper assigns Lois Lay (Holly McCall, TABOO) to the case officially. Linda hits upon a clue however when she is sent to investigate a spaceship that has landed in a grocery store parking lot and discovers it to be the vehicle of villain Kreeta Borgia (Jesie St. James, ORIENTAL HAWAII) and has to screw a pair of guards (ULTRA FLESH's Jesse Adams and LIQUID LIPS' Vernon von Bergdorfe) in order to escape. John is not exactly suffering in captivity as his fourteen inch tool arouses the curiosity (and devotion) of female guards Sharon Kane (HOT LUNCH) and Starr Wood (IRRESISTABLE). Superwoman is nearly too busy with a dildo substitute of her missing boyfriend to save Lois from a roughing up by John's neighbor (David Morris, DEBBIE DOES DALLAS), and that is the source of her weakness that Kreeta plans to exploit with a "crayonite" dildo modeled after John's erection, luring Linda into a trap by placing an ad hinting at John's location and also kidnapping editor Clark Click (Mike Horner, LET'S GET PHYSICAL) for extra bait.

Were it not for the lawsuit, MS. MAGNIFICENT – the directorial debut of editor Joe Sherman, of the later "Shane and Abel" parable EXPOSE ME NOW – would be nothing special. The comedy is lame, with only St. James really sinking her teeth into her part (and those of others). The threadbare budget extends to a novel spaceship set with blue shag carpeting and a strap-on "crayonite" dildo that looks like a cucumber while the costumes are a bit more imaginative (although Superwoman's insignia is opaqued in every shot by a scribbling on the negative) and the whole thing ends with a listless orgy. Even pro-porn feminists may find this female superhero disappointing as she turns out to be virtually useless during the whole of the "climax" and requiring rescue herself by her big strong boyfriend. Wooden Cousteau was always at her best when "deployed" by more imaginative directors; here, she's at sea amidst marginally mostly more competent performers who just get on with what is required of them.

Transferred and restored from a 2K scan of 16mm archival elements, Vinegar Syndrome's single-layer, progressive, non-anamorphic 1.33:1 fullscreen DVD makes due with largely good condition elements that are colorful and reasonably crisp with grain retained throughout and only a passage or two in which some vertical scratches mar the presentation (one of them possibly an extracted section restored from less than optimal materials). The Dolby Digital 1.0 mono track boasts intelligible dialogue and library music. There are no extras. (Eric Cotenas)

 

 

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