THE
NAKED WITCH (1961)/CRYPT OF DARK SECRETS
(1976)Directors: Larry Buchanan, Claude Alexander; Don Weis
Something Weird Video/Image Entertainment
THE
NAKED WITCH (1961)/CRYPT OF DARK SECRETS
(1976)Not to be confused with an Andy Milligan film made at the same time and using the same title, THE NAKED WITCH is the first horror-related efort by cult director Larry Buchanan. Co-directing it with Claude Alexander, it was shot on 16mm for a whopping $8,000 and that ain't too hard to fathom.
Beginning with an overlong prologue
about the history of witches (probably added at a later release date), THE NAKED
WITCH introduces a student (Robert Short) who visits a German populated town
in Texas, doing research on said subject. It all looks like a low brow THE SOUND
OF MUSIC with villagers and children resembling the von Trapp family and naturally
avoiding the subject of witchcraft in conversation. Eventually, the student
discovers where a legendary witch is buried, pulls the stake out of her, and
a dime store Halloween mask is transformed into Libby Hall (mostly naked and
sporting Spock eyebrows) in a role reminiscent of the 50s shocker, 
THE
ASTOUNDING SHE-MONSTER.
Running just under an hour, THE
NAKED WITCH laid down the precedent for a string of no-budget chillers for AIP
(mostly remakes of their earlier 50s classics) that Buchanan shot for television.
The print used here is in color which is a rare treat since it was shown predominately
in black and white. Colors are dull and the overall appearance is shoddy, but
for something lensed for $8,000 it's completely satisfactory and about what
you'd expect. Some of Ms. Hall's fleeting nudity was optically 
smudged
by a film distributor I presume, but most of it has fittingly survived and is
quite sensational for 1961.
A commentary track is included
with Larry Buchanan, his first ever. Moderated by Mondo Digital's Nathaniel
Thompson, the discussion seldom focuses on THE NAKED WITCH and nicely turns
into an hour-long career interview with the B-movie legend. He discusses his
work for AIP, as well as actors such as John Agar, Tommy Kirk and John Ashley,
and the trashy bio-pics he's well known for. Buchanan seems open to do more
commentaries in the future and I hope the opportunity arises. Another track
consists of an audio interview Claude Alexander that's conducted by Something
Weird's own Mike Vraney. A true Texan in the southern boy tradition, Alexander
was a roadshow impresario, so he has a lot of good stories to tell. He also
discusses THE NAKED WITCH and of course his buddy Buchanan. The interview lasts
for nea
rly
50 minutes.
The second feature on the disc,
CRYPT OF DARK SECRETS, proves that bad horror films were made all over the country,
in this case New Orleans. It tells the tale of Vietnam vet named Ted (Ronald
Tanet) who isolates himself in the "haunted" swampland. Tanet looks
like one of those old bearded G.I. Joe 
dolls,
and his acting is even stiffer. When three idiots (a dumpy guy, a dude with
an overbearing Cajun accent and his butch wife) find out he has some cash in
the bread box, they beat him and leave him for dead.
When the money starts bleeding
Heinz ketchup, guilty consciences arise and they decide to turn themselves in
to the sheriff. In the meantime, an oiled up, raven-haired nude swamp babe gives
the dead Ted a lapdance he'll never forget and revives him from the dead. A
swamp gypsy who resembles Ruth Buzzi in a "Laugh-In" skit, makes plush
dolls out of our three idiot criminals and does a voodoo number on them. An
inept but fairly entertaining way to kill 70 minutes, CRYPT OF DARK SECRETS
was directed by Jack Weis (of MARDI GRAS MASSACRE fame) and the late spookshow
showman/director Donn Davison (LEGEND OF MCCULLOUGH'S MOUNTAIN) has a cameo.
CRYPT OF DARK SECRETS is presented in a fullframe aspect ratio, and could have benefited from letterboxing since the open matte kind of throws the composition out of whack. The transfer was culled from the original negative and renders a very clean image overall. Colors are very bright with only slight muting, and detail is very sharp despite one or two soft occasions. The mono audio sounds pretty good with no noticeable defects.
As
always with these Something Weird releases, you can always depend on a ton of
extras. There's a bunch of "Hex and Hoodoo Trailers" for BOURBON STREET
SHADOWS, THE DEVIL'S GARDEN, HOT PANTS, HOLIDAY, INDECENT DESIRES, MACUMBA LOVE,
SWAMP GIRL, THE VIRGIN WITCH, VOODOO VILLAGE, VOODOO WOMAN, WITCHCRAFT, THE
WITCH'S CURSE and others; TV Spots for THE NAKED WITCH (must be for a later
release as it's give a "PG" rating) and CRYPT OF DARK SECRETS; a musical
voodoo short "Witch Doctor"; stripper Genii Young in the short "Afro-Cuban
Genii"; Almita going wild in "Voodoo Virgin"; more sexy dancing
in "Temple Dance"; a sexy witch in the short "Cigam S'rehtom";
"Acid Skull" is a psychedelic 8mm shot oddity with a girl stripping
and having an LSD rip; and there's New Orleans lesbianism and voodoo in the
31-minute nudie featurette, "The Hot Pearl Snatch." There's also a
Gallery of Rare behind-the-Scenes photos and ad art from THE NAKED WITCH, a
gallery of comic cover art accompanied by music by The Dead Elvi. There are
also several Easter Eggs to look out for. What a package! (George
R. Reis)