Director: Ernst Hofbauer
Impulse Pictures

Those naughty Germans explore “what parents must never know” in the SCHOOLGIRL REPORT VOLUME 8, presented in its uncut German version from Synapse Films’ offshoot Impulse Pictures.

A gaggle of fully-developed “uncredited adolescents” hop on the bus for a two week field trip at a hostel in the country (back when foreign hostels offered the possibilities for sexual experience and exploration rather than torture and death). The girls are pleased that new biology teacher Mr. Steinbach (Claus Tinney, DEATH AND DIAMONDS) will be accompanying them on the trip; in fact, Evi (Puppa Armbruster, THE SENSUOUS HOUSEWIFE) would be glad to get him “back on the breast.” Also coming along is spinsterish killjoy teacher Miss Maurer (Lis Kertelge) who ineffectively chides the girls for their cheekiness, but that won’t keep these schoolgirls from indulging their curiosity.

Gisela (Christine Szenetra, SCHOOLGIRL REPORT 9) relates how she set out to seduce apprentice gardener Rolf (Werner Singh, SUPERGIRLS FOR LOVE) who feels safer with his Christina Lindberg poster and stroke magazines than the real thing. She should be put off; however, her “female pride” drives her to take things in hand. Things aren’t so rosy with Annette, who confides in her friend that she is three months pregnant after her first time with medical student Jurgen (Eduard Meisel, HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY PANTS?). She has not told her parents, and Jurgen wants to keep the baby (he has also promised to find a way to meet up with her during the trip). Jutta (Sandra Atia) and Evi lighten the mood by describing how they made a bet with stud Hans (Jürgen Schilling, BOTTOMS UP) that he could not seduce their biology teacher Miss Eberhardt (Elke Deuringer, SORRY WRONG BEDROOM) whose has “hair like a polliwog and the fashion sense of Frankenstein” (in terms of movie ugliness, she is of course the type who has only to take off her glasses and let her hair down to turn into a horny swan). Hans hires two guys to hit on her so he can play hero, but Jutta and Evi mean to queer the bet; however, it is they who are in for a surprise.

Gaby (Marianne Dupont, SEX SERVICE) relates how she and her cousin Uschi (Marisa Feldy, SHE DEVILS OF THE SS) went skinny-dipping and ran into a horny fisherman in a segment with much slow-motion frolicking in the water and bouncy running through the reeds. Susanne (Yvonne Dwyer) decides to seduce her father’s boss so that he could keep his job. She has an affair with the older man, who buys her clothes and jewelry and professes his love for her; however, Susanne proves mature enough to see that their relationship is going nowhere. When the bus finally arrives at the hostel – run by voyeur Huber (Jürgen Feindt) and his ball-busting wife – Evi decides to make her move on Steinbach. He rebuffs her, telling her he could go to jail if he was caught with her; so naturally Evi is infuriated when she sees him entering a hotel later with Inge (Gisela Schwartz, PLAYGIRLS OF MUNICH). When Miss Maurer discovers Annette’s pregnancy and informs her district attorney father (Wolf Ackva, Dallamano’s VENUS IN FURS), Evi decides to manipulate the situation to get back at Steinbach.

Not having seen any other entries in the series, I have no idea if part eight is a high or low point in the series. There doesn’t seem to be any sort of overarching theme to tie everything together; however, by part eight in the series, director Ernst Hofbauer and writer Gunther Heller probably could care less about tying all of the stories together with a central theme (I’m also guessing that all of the entries in the series involve things that “parents must never know”), and the audience probably doesn’t care either. Regardless of tone, the vignettes are fleshy and amusing, and the schoolgirls are obviously of age (it’s especially funny when the gardener attributes Gisela’s cheekiness to puberty). The comedy is very broad, with dialogue that is often more juvenile than raunchy (going by the subtitles, at least), and the type of “boing” and suction cup sound effects out of a BENNY HILL sketch. The films dramatic scenes are limp, so the climax won’t have you clutching your seat; but Hofbauer throws in a lingering group shower scene and allows us to see into Evi’s mind as she imagines what Steinbach and Inge must be doing together in the hotel room (cue more nudity). Several of the cast members like Armbruster, Tinney, Dupont and Deuringer were veterans of the series, as well as some of the REPORT offshoots by series directors Hofbauer and Walter Boos (MAGDELENA, POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL) involving housewives and stewardesses.

Previously released stateside in a cut, English-dubbed version titled NAUGHTY COEDS, Impulse’s single-layer, progressive, anamorphic picture of the uncut German version is framed at 1.66:1. The opening credits look horrid with blown-out contrast, a trembling frame, and noise around the white lettering. The rest of the presentation looks marginally better. The colors are nice, but detail is generally poor. Close-ups look quite nice, but long shots are marred by jagged lines on the edges of objects and people. This probably won’t detract from ones appreciation of the film’s other assets, but the retail price seems a bit steep when Synapse titles at the same price are so much better. There are few instances of print damage (the first one I noticed did not appear until about twelve minutes into the film) as well as white square reel change marks. The German Dolby Digital 2.0 mono audio is in good condition, and the optional English subtitles appear to be error-free (although they give Maurer and Irene Eberhardt the address of “Mrs.” even though they are described by the girls as spinsters). As with most Impulse discs, this one is entirely bare-bones (the only option outside of the play and scene selections options is an option to turn the subtitles off. (Eric Cotenas)