Director: John Chiara
Impulse Pictures/Synapse Films

You can never have enough Uschi Digard on DVD, and she's the high point of HONEY BUNS, an oddball XXX effort out from Impulse Pictures.

Harry (Matt Hewitt, HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD) is a socially-awkward nebbish who works for the "Internally Yours" feminine hygiene company. Teased by receptionist Marsha (Rene Bond, FRANKIE AND JOHNNY WERE…) – who never has to take her notebook to private meetings with boss Mr. Bennett (John Barnum, YOUNG SECRETARIES) – and having his shyness mistaken as superiority by model Yolanda (Uschi Digard, BELOW THE BELT), Harry relies on pornography and vivid fantasies in favor of human contact. On the way home from work, he runs into "The Magician" ("introducing Harvey Whippsnake") who gives him a red pill that promises to make his dreams come true. Soon after, beautiful, willing women are popping up around his apartment left and right – including Do-It (Becky Sharpe, INSIDE PUSSYCAT), Delicious (Sandy Carey, DEEP JAWS), and dominatrix Show-Me (Kathy Hilton, POOR CECILY) – but they disappear as soon as he is aroused (well, not right away since each scene needs some hardcore inserts), and Harry made need a bit of help to learn how to keep a girl around if he ever wants to get laid.

A supremely unfunny hardcore take on the usual nudie scenario of a an awkward guy getting nude hotties beamed in right and left to frustrate and eventually satisfy him, HONEY BUNS – also known as HEADS OR TAILS – does at least suggest that Harry's luck with women has a lot to do with his self-confidence (although his newfound assertiveness gets off to a rather misogynistic start). It's no more corny than other light-hearted softcore/hardcore films from this period, but it only really heats up during the last third of the film (starting with Harry getting roughed up by Show-Me in the film's only visually inventive sequence). It's easier to believe that HONEY BUNS was a softcore film beefed up with mismatched hardcore inserts (however much they tried to match the angles and clothing) – as well as a self-contained hardcore scene with uncredited performers framed as a fantasy – than a hardcore film in which the two male actors who would have to be (badly) doubled and its female cast of adult film regulars largely wasted. Digard unfortunately stays clothed but is given much more dialogue than usual (onscreen dialogue, that is, not voiceovers in a Nick Philips film), and Bond also gets to show off her acting chops (I'm not even sure it's her in the hardcore inserts).

Impulse Pictures once again does the best it can with a well-traveled 35mm print of a film that didn't look that good to begin with. It is easy to differentiate the inserts (which are sharper and better lit) from the body of the film (which looks comparatively softer and grainier) in this fullscreen, progressive transfer. There is some hiss and crackle but the Dolby Digital 2.0 mono track is generally acceptable. Don't be fooled by the tantalizing cover image as the only honey in the film gets daubed on (and licked off of) Harry's hairy, doughy frame. (Eric Cotenas)