THE
MIGHTY GORGA/ONE MILLION AC/DC (1969)Directors: David L. Hewitt, Ed DePriest
Something Weird Video/Image Entertainment
THE
MIGHTY GORGA/ONE MILLION AC/DC (1969)Following the release of COUNTRY
CUZZINS/MIDNIGHT PLOWBOY (the new template for excellent SWV discs in 2002),
the bizarro Seattle-based company has unleashed several disappointing discs.
STREET OF A THOUSAND PLEASURES/WAY OUT TOPLESS was a new low for SWV, and unfortunately
the long-awaited MIGHTY GORGA/ONE MILLION AC/DC is only a few notches above
that disc in terms of excellence.
Called "the worst KING KONG
copy ever, anytime, anywhere" by Michael Weldon, MIGHTY GORGA pretty much
lives up to that description. The fact that the majority of the cast is gutted
from Al Adamson's acting troupe (and cinematographer Gary Graver was Adamson's
regular cameraman) is evidence enough of this. Anthony Eisley (DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN)
is Mark Remington, a circus owner whose carnival consists of sorry animal acts
and a depressed clown (Bruce Kimball, DRACULA VS. FRANKENSTEIN). Threatened
by Arnold Shye (Gary Kent, SATAN'S SADISTS), who plans to buy the circus, and
whined at by his dorky younger brother (future director Greydon Clark, DRACULA
VS. 
FRANKENSTEIN),
Mark ventures into the jungle to capture a giant ape known as Gorga. He enlists
the aid of animal reserve owner April Adams (the terrible Megan Timothy providing
lame romantic interest), who aims to uncover a lost treasure to save her reserve
from scrupulous tycoon Dan Morgan (Scott Brady, SATAN'S SADISTS) and his crummy
sidekick (William Bonner, SATAN'S SADISTS). April's father, Tonga Jack (Kent
Taylor, SATAN'S SADISTS), has been lost in the jungle, so April also aims to
find him in the process.
They encounter Gorga, played by
director David L. Hewitt in the most ridiculous fake gorilla suit in film history,
a toy dinosaur (it fights with 
Gorga
in a hilarious sequence), and an actually pretty neat claymation lizard lifted
from another film. It all comes to a predictable conclusion involving an unlikely
rescue by Gorga, who fell in love with Mark and April for saving his hand from
a splinter (!!). Add to the mix a white native tribe, volcano stock footage,
and hands-down the worst matte jobs ever committed to celluloid, GORGA is a
piece of dung, plain and simple. Sure, portions of it are so-bad-they're-good,
but most of the film is much too talky and uninteresting to revisit.
A really lousy film, MIGHTY GORGA's transfer would have been more jaw-dropping if the film wasn't so bad. Colors are bursting with life, there's a fair amount of grain and dirt during opening credits and reel changes, and only a few scenes suffer from dark murky colors (probably a result of the original film stock anyway). The audio is very good, quite strong for a mono mix.
The
bottom half of the double feature, ONE MILLION AC/DC has gone in the history
books because of its script written by Edward D. Wood, Jr. under the alias Akdon
Telmig (not Akdov Telmig, as many books have misquoted). Unfortunately, it seems
that Eddie didn't have much writing to do, because the film mostly consists
of pointless softcore gropings where the cavemen leave their bearskin loincloths
on. Gary Kent returns as the chief of a caveman tribe that is trapped inside
their cave by a toy dinosaur (!). In-between countless lesbian scenes, more
straight sex, some comic bestiality between a gorilla and a kidnapped maiden,
a lame orgy, a cat fight resulting in a corpse, and some obscene cave drawings,
there is kind of a plot where a caveman develops a bow and arrow to destroy
the monster. There's also a completely disconnected (but well-shot by Gary Graver)
sequence of a caveman chasing a topless cavegirl. Eagle-eyed sexploitation viewers
will spot Jack King (TOY BOX
)
as the wise elder and L.A. stripper Natasha (without all the eye makeup) only
four years after her appearance in Novak's KISS ME QUICK. And as another Al
Adamson connection, starlet Maria Lease (the beheaded sister in DRACULA VS.
FRANKENSTEIN) appears here under an alias as Kent's main squeeze.
The transfer for ONE MILLION AC/DC looks good enough, especially for the rarity of a film like this. Most of the colors are very good, there is no artifacting in dark scenes, but there are lines all over the print and dirt and smudges are consistent. The mono audio is once again spot-on.
For
such a bland double bill, the extras are adequate, but nothing worth keeping
the disc for. The trailer is here for ONE MILLION AC/DC, but not for MIGHTY
GORGA. VALLEY OF THE DRAGONS looks exciting, filled with monsters, time travel,
and prehistoric mayhem! THE CYCLOPS stars the underrated Gloria Talbot as a
woman searching for her husband in the jungle, who ends up being a doppelganger
for the monster in WAR OF THE COLOSSAL BEAST (he was indeed played by the same
actor, Dean Parkin)!! EQUINOX is the neglected horror classic that predated
EVIL DEAD by about 15 years in telling the tale of the Necromonicon summoning
demons, vampires and pure evil from the woods to harass a group of college students.
Featuring some really cool animation, it's a quite good film worth tracking
down. ISLAND OF THE DINOSAURS is a Mexican film (the trailer is Spanish language).
THE LOCH NESS TERROR is a Larry Buchanan-produced monster flick with some laughable
special effects that might make this oddity worth seeing. THE LOST CONTINENT
is the 1951 film that would be remade by Hammer in 1968. See Cesar Romero, John
Hoyt (ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE), and Acquanetta (CAPTIVE WILD WOMAN) menaced
by dinosaurs on a prehistoric plateau! SOUND OF HORROR looks like a keeper,
with sexy future 70s vampires Ingrid Pitt (VAMPIRE LOVERS) and Soledad Miranda
(VAMPYROS LESBOS) trapped in a house by an invisible dinosaur! TOM THUMB is
a Mexican kiddie flick that looks like a lot of fun. Who wants to see this on
DVD, along with similar fare like LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD, PUSS'N'BOOTS, and
SNOW WHITE?
The short subjects are as much
as mixed bag as the trailer: NIGHTMARE is a homemade featurette starring a dorky
teen who transports himself back to a prehistoric world where he sees dinosaurs
fighting (kind of impressive animation for a homemade flick) and he accidentally
brings one home with him! PREHISTORIC DAZE seems to be an excerpt from NOT TONIGHT
HENRY, with comic Hank Henry sent on a prehistoric shopping mission by his wife,
but runs scared from a giant dinosaur (cool monster suit) and spends time ogling
nude skinny-dippers before being bonked on the head by his jealous spouse! Yowsa!
DIANE
THE JUNGLE GIRL AND HER GORILLA OF LOVE is another excerpt (the film is not
one I can identify), with a woman singing "Voodoo Hoodoo Baby" before
a stripper does her act with a live gorilla, who kills her stalker backstage
and goes to jail for it, where the woman goes for...um...conjugal visits!!!
A gallery of all-new exploitation art with some new, some recycled radio spots
rounds up the pretty cool extras section. Easter egg hunters will want to look
for a color stop-motion "King Kong" car commercial!
A hit-and-miss affair, MIGHTY GORGA/ONE MILLION AC/DC is worth seeing for the sheer stupidity of both films and the interesting extras, but would I want to own it? Nah, it's just not worth the space on my shelf. (Casey Scott)