SANTA
CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS
(1964)Director: Nicholas Webster
Delta
SANTA
CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS
(1964)Every family has a favorite film to gather around the TV and experience during the holiday season. For some, it's A CHRISTMAS STORY, others hold IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE dear to their hearts. But lost in the shuffle is an incredibly enjoyable, yet hopelessly inept little low-budget gem entitled SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS. This is my family's annual favorite, and fans of this "classic" can now revel in the fact that it has arrived full-blast on DVD.
The children of Mars fall into a bout of depression after viewing "Earth programs" starring Santa Claus and his North Pole workshop. Kimar, the leader of Mars, listens to words of wisdom from a thousand-year-old prophet and embarks on a quest to kidnap Santa Claus, ensuring that every Martian child's Christmas will be bright. After abducting two Earth children, Billy and Betty, and forcing them to lead the spaceship to Santa Claus, the jolly old soul (who looks and acts drunk for the entire running time of the film) falls victim to the Martians' Whammo air blasters and their giant robot Torg!! Back on Mars, Santa's hard work at a special mechanized workshop is endangered by the evil mustachioed Voldar. And don't even get me started on Droppo, "the laziest man on Mars" who somehow manages to pass himself off as Santa despite sporting a huge antenna on his head!!
Imagine seeing SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS in a kiddie matinee every Christmas!! While not nearly as insane as the Mexican import SANTA CLAUS, MARTIANS still manages to boggle the mind in its scant 81-minute running time. The Martian people wear giant antennae on their heads, have green makeup smeared all over their faces (most of the time it's dripping off under the studio lights), and eat their food in pill form. ("And a special treat for the children, chocolate layer cake pills.") As I mentioned before, Santa Claus is a jovial old soul, but any adult viewer and many a young viewer will be hard-pressed to explain his drunken behavior. Cracking lame jokes, facing danger with a "fiddle dee dee," and giving long-winded speeches at the drop of a hat, he still manages to be as funny as he aims to be for all the wrong reasons. The child actors are likable enough, but it's obvious they were trained on the stage (the two leads were recruited from the childrens' chorus of OLIVER!, as was John 'Santa Claus' Call, who played a doctor in the play). And I defy you to get the theme song "Hooray for Santy Claus" out of your head! A 45 RPM record of the Milton DeLugg theme was issued along with a comic book based on the film; both items collect top dollar among collectors today.
Nicholas Webster's off-the-wall kiddie klassic gained a resurgence in popularity in the mid-80s when Pia Zadora (seen here as 'Girmar', a Martian girl) won a Golden Globe and continued to appear in big-budget sleaze epics. John Waters gave it a glowing review in one of his essays, and watches it every Christmas. But the film should really be appreciated for its other qualities: some pretty inventive art design despite a criminally low budget, a catchy Milton DeLugg score, an aura of fun and bewilderment, and a final showdown featuring a bubble machine, toys that attack, wild kids, and an insanely laughing Santa Claus!!
This budget-priced DVD is nothing to shout about. Fans of the film will be glad to have it in digital format, regardless of how the film looks or sounds, but newcomers may find it hard to overlook the pretty bad transfer. It's about as good as a VHS, not better or worse, but for those who want to see the film in its complete uncut version, this is the way to go. This is the completely uncut version, previously only available on New Line's VHS edition (other public domain labels omitted entire scenes and reels!). One qualm with the presentation: the opening credits are missing the opening bars of the theme song and several credit titles, including the title card! Fans of twisted kiddie cinema of the 60s will also notice the cover of the DVD features three promotional photos from the Mexican SANTA CLAUS among stills from MARTIANS.
Sure, it's not the Special Edition release the hardcore fans of this film are wishing for. A Pia Zadora interview would have been nice, in addition to an isolated audio section of the theme song, a stills gallery, and a reproduction of the comic book. Even a trailer would have been nice. But this won't be happening any time soon, if ever, so fans should not hesitate to grab this disc up ASAP! "Hooray for Santy Claus!" (Casey Scott)