THE
SECRET SEX LIVES OF ROMEO AND JULIET(1969) / THE NOTORIOUS CLEOPATRA (1970)
Director: Pete Perry
Something Weird Video
THE
SECRET SEX LIVES OF ROMEO AND JULIETIn the mid-1960s, the costume
sex film was born when David F. Friedman produced THE NOTORIOUS DAUGHTER OF
FANNY HILL in 1967, starring the two-hit wonder Stacey Walker (who later relocated
to her home state of Texas; she is 1960s sexploitation's greatest loss). Soon,
the genre took off with a start: Friedman followed up FANNY HILL with THE LUSTFUL
TURK and THE HEAD MISTRESS, while Friedman's chief competitor/peer Harry Novak
delivered the first two of his own costume pics: THE SECRET SEX LIVES OF ROMEO
AND JULIET and THE NOTORIOUS CLEOPATRA. Something Weird's most recent Harry
Novak double bills (including this one) have been interesting because the films
featured have been well-written and successful comedies with heavy doses of
nudity and sex included.
ROMEO AND JULIET opens with a
rowdy crowd of drunken peasants demanding the new play from the famous William
Shakespeare. The show gets underway with A.C. Stevens regular Forman Shane as
Romeo, one-hit wonder Diedre Nelson as Juliet, director William Rotsler (AGONY
OF LOVE) as the Mayor of "beautiful downtown Verona," and Russ Meyer
regulars Stuart Lancaster (SUPERVIXENS) and Vincene Wallace (VIXEN) as Lord
Capulet and Juliet's handmaiden, respectively. Cameos by Bethel Buckalew (the
man whose name Pete Perry adopted as a pseudonym), Pamela Princess (COUNTRY
CUZZINS), Jack King (THE TOY BOX), and Jimmy Johnson (a vampire's victim in
HORROR OF THE BLOOD MONSTERS) are fun to spot when the viewer isn't bombarded
with hilarious "Laugh-In" type interruptions and gags. The entire
cast is in on the joke and has lots of fun with the material; politically incorrect
(but hilarious) gay 
and
fat jokes abound, but amidst the humor the script stays very true to the original
story. Also, those familiar with Friedman's NOTORIOUS DAUGHTER will notice several
similarities to that film. The mock fellatio on a banana and the casting of
William Rotsler are the two most noteworthy elements borrowed from Friedman's
film. The set design on SECRET SEX LIVES is simply gorgeous. Every set is bursting
with vivid color and the costume design is just as pleasing to the eye. As with
many Novak films, some viewers will be frustrated by the lengthy sex scenes
(including bondage, an orgy, and lesbianism) because they're enjoying the humorous
aspects of the script. But keep in mind, these are adults only films, so just
stick with the sex. Pete Perry interjects humorous interjections and cutaways
to every scene, so fast-forwarding won't do any good.
Something Weird has done another Novak film good. With only speckling present during the opening credits, the rest of the transfer is simply immaculate. There is some color bleeding from red costumes, but otherwise the detail is very good-looking. Most of the women in SECRET SEX LIVES are sultry redheads, and their beauty is made all the more arousing by this transfer. Their red hair (on the head and in the valley) is incredibly detailed. The film is letterboxed at 1.78:1 and it seems to be the accurate aspect ratio. Mono audio is very strong.
THE
NOTORIOUS CLEOPATRA isn't really as entertaining as its co-feature, but it does
have the luscious black beauty Sonora (NOT Sondra, as noted by Michael Weldon
and SWV's catalog), similarly eye-popping set and costume design, and a clever
script. Nasty slob Caesar (Jay Edwards, Balthasar in SECRET SEX LIVES) sends
Marc Anthony, his right hand man (Johnny Rocco, the title character in EXOTIC
DREAMS OF CASANOVA), to invite Cleopatra (the incredible one-hit wonder Sonora),
the Queen of Egypt, to join his harem. But Anthony woos Cleopatra himself rather
than send her to the horny clutches of the Roman emperor. When Cleopatra learns
of the political influence of Caesar, she attempts to seduce him into giving
her the throne. And so the love triangle begins!
NOTORIOUS CLEOPATRA sure isn't
the usual Liz Taylor/Dick Burton version we're used to. Sonora is a ten times
sexier Cleopatra, while Johnny Rocco is a decidedly sleazier Marc Anthony. And
Jay 
Edwards
is a gross misinterpretation of Caesar (Rex Harrison's was more refined, but
slightly more accurate). But it's still a fun little picture all the same. Yet
unlike SECRET SEX LIVES, there is only a smidgen of humor present in this film.
The dialogue is well-written (Sonora knows how to deliver her lines with zing!)
and costume and set design are above par for a film of this low budget, but
the sex gets pretty old real fast. The standard orgy and lesbian scenes are
here, and the only memorable sex sequences feature Sonora. I seriously never
get tired of her, and it's a shame she never did any other films (or at least
under this name). If she did, I'd be interested in seeing them!
CLEOPATRA's transfer is just as pleasing as SECRET SEX LIVES. Vibrant, gorgeous colors, little to no grain, and the only speckling appears during the opening credits. Another average mono mix is acceptable.
The
star extra of the disc is a commentary with Harry Novak "And Friends"
on SECRET SEX LIVES. The "friends" are the talkative Johnny Legend,
Image's Nathaniel Thompson (webmaster of the great Mondo Digital), Blue Underground/Anchor
Bay's R.J. Gallantine, and Hollywood Book and Poster's Eric Caiden. Frankly,
this is one of the lewdest, crudest commentaries you're likely to hear. Rather
than illuminate us with facts about the shooting of the film, the cast (who
are often misidentified or not identified at all, like Vincene Wallace!!), or
low-budget filmmaking in general, Novak would rather wax nostalgic on the "tits"
and "bush" of the various starlets. He makes up stories about the
various sexual conquests the women had (he says a woman in the dungeon scene
likes the whipping, then it is shown she isn't even being whipped in the first
place!) and is generally a timewaster. Contrast his commentaries with Dave Friedman's
commentaries: not to knock Novak (he is, of course, a legend), but Friedman
oozes class and professionalism, while Novak doesn't. Usually Mike Vraney is
present to speed things along, but Mr. Vraney is sorely missed here. The 'moderators'
(I use the term loosely) try their best, but seem to not know Novak very well
in the first place. Legend is the most talkative and asks the most interesting
questions, but this also just pushes Thompson, Caiden, and Gallantine into the
background, snickering at Novak's dirty talk. Caiden, in particular, proved
his expertise on the MONDO MOD/THE HIPPIE REVOLT commentaries, and I would have
liked him to spread his wings a little. In short, a funny commentary for a little
while, but after a while, the dirty old man bit by Novak gets quite old. Listen
to it at least once.
In addition to the hit-and-miss
commentary, there are several trailers on hand here. THE BRAZEN WOMEN OF BALZAC
stars Eurocult icon Edwige Fenech (seen nude here), and is a German sex film
dubbed in English. Looks like a hoot, with hints of FUEGO what with the loud
screaming and thrashing by beautiful women. A CLOCKWORK BLUE (wonder what film
this is supposed to cash in on?) seems to be an interesting 
time
travel sex flick, featuring sex adventures in the French Revolution, Medieval
times, the Renaissance, Plymouth Rock, and other time periods. Plus it's got
Rene Bond pre-boob job, apparently one of few movies made before her famous
Harry Novak breast enhancements! The film doesn't have an IMDB entry, so who
knows what the original title is? It still looks hilarious! FANNY HILL is the
one film Russ Meyer disowned after traveling to England to direct it. It looks
hilarious, but is incredibly rare now. Recognizable faces include Leticia Roman,
Miriam Hopkins, future director Ulli Lommel, and producer Albert Zugsmith! THE
NINE AGES OF NAKEDNESS is another raunchy time travel sex film that seems similar
to CLOCKWORK BLUE, except with just plotless sex. ROMAN LOVE TEMPLE is one of
many low-budget softcore (borderline hardcore) sex films produced exclusively
for the Capri Cinema in New York City. Few, if any, have survived and this may
be the only remaining evidence of its existence. The trailer is crudely edited,
but has some gorgeous men in it (the women are nothing special) and hilarious
dialogue. There's a trailer for SECRET SEX LIVES, but none for CLEOPATRA. Strange,
considering the trailer is included on the SWV VHS tape of the movie.
Two
short subjects are pretty dispensable: "Cleopatra's Milk Bath" is
an excerpt from SEXY PROIBITISSIMO (1963), with a white Cleopatra (who needs
to shave her armpits closer) bathing in milk after dancing seductively for Marc
Anthony. Yawn. "Cleopatra's Asp" is another excerpt from NOT TONIGHT
HENRY (1961), with bug-eyed comedian Hank Henry (resembling Rodney Dangerfield)
planted in ancient Egypt to ogle beautiful women. Yawn. Another excerpt from
the film appears on SWV's MIGHTY GORGA/ONE MILLION AC/DC disc, but was a little
more entertaining.
Two galleries are included with radio-spot rarities. The Gallery of Exploitation Art is the same stuff we've seen over various other Harry Novak discs. But the Gallery of Exploitation Photos is different from similar galleries. This one features stills of scenes from SASSY SUE, COUNTRY HOOKER, JUST THE TWO OF US, THE TAKERS, TOBACCO ROODY, THE SECRET SEX LIVES OF ROMEO AND JULIET, THE PIGKEEPER'S DAUGHTER, and COUNTRY CUZZINS. Most of these are readily available or forthcoming on DVD, but the photos are still interesting to look at. Plenty of Rene Bond to be found in the COUNTRY HOOKER section.
Harry Novak's costume pics are something special all right. Some will find the sex distracting, others will feel the same way about the humor. Either way, there's something here for every cult film fan. (Casey Scott)