STREET OF A THOUSAND PLEASURES (1970)/WAY OUT
TOPLESS (1967)
Directors: William Rotsler, Lewis S. Francis
Something Weird Video/Image Entertainment

The same week that the outstanding COUNTRY CUZZINS/MIDNIGHT PLOWBOY disc hit the streets, Something Weird Video also released their most disappointing disc ever. A cult film that is often spoken about rather than actually seen by its fans, STREET OF A THOUSAND PLEASURES is one of SWV's biggest-selling titles. My question is: why?

Harry Novak regular John Tull makes his film debut as John Dalton, an oil geologist who escapes from his bickering wife to the Middle East, where he saves Sheik Abdul Ben Hassein from a potential assassin. His reward: a prolonged peek at Hassein's white slave market! In POV style, the camera roves the naked women as John paws at their bodies and makes lewd comments on their "tits" and "ass." He boffs a couple of them, escapes with one of the slaves, and returns to his nagging wife. The end.

Who ever would have thought so much nudity could be so boring? There's more skin per minute than any other film I can think of, and it produces more yawns than woodies. Besides some criminally short moments of the luscious Uschi Digart appearing in her first major motion picture, and a so-brief-you'll-miss-her cameo by Michelle Angelo, STREET OF A THOUSAND PLEASURES could make a good sleazy white slavery film or go in the other direction and be an interesting softcore porn flick. The film fails as both. Even though SWV subtitles the film "Breasts: the Movie" in their catalog, breast fetishists will be disappointed by the lack of top-heavy tarts in the finished product.

If STREET OF A THOUSAND PLEAURES is the sexploitation equivalent of Nyquil, then WAY OUT TOPLESS is an elephant tranquilizer. Opening with some pretty funny scenes of women stripping to be measured for a gym and said women wrestling, doing chin-ups, and smiling at the camera (don't miss the grossly hairy man doing chin-ups against a mirror!), TOPLESS does dare to be different by featuring strippers in Baltimore and Washington D.C. rather than those of New York and Los Angeles. But there may be a reason for why these strippers have been neglected for so long. They're not any good. By 1967, the strip tease was dead. The soul strip and complete strip were here to stay, so one wonders who the audience was for WAY OUT TOPLESS. Breast fetishists won't be entertained, and neither will nostalgia buffs.

Despite the two films on the disc being completely terrible, the extras here are reason enough to add the DVD to your library. The trailers are, unfortunately, kinda boring, just like the films. Filled with strip tease acts, FORBIDDEN BEAUTIES, PARIS TOPLESS, SEXY PROIBITISSIMO, and THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF GIRLS haven't aged well. INTERNATIONAL SMORGASBORD does have footage of the lovely Bennett twins, Darlene and Rita (who I don't think are really twins, but I digress...). SUBSTITION seems pretty interesting, a tale of a married man who can envision his wife as any woman he desires.

With the shorts, the disc comes unto its own. "Box Lunch" is a lengthy montage of dimestore loops accompanied by hilarious narration. The narrator seems to be advertising various over-the-counter products, but all of his dialogue is packed with sexual innuendo and suggestiveness. All the women are girl-next-door gorgeous, doing natural things like skinny-dipping on the beach, lounging in a hammock. If these shorts can work at being incredibly sexy when barely trying, why can't the feature films? You may be surprised by the leather-wielding wench in a barn near the conclusion!!

"Instant Orgy" is another one of a series of color Barry Mahon shorts. Shot with live sound and in absolutely gorgeous color, Mahon's shorts featured the best models in New York. Darlene and Rita Bennett appear in this one, as a high society ladies luncheon's party punch is spiked with an alcoholic beverage called Instant Orgy. Pretty soon, all the women are topless and frugging with wild abandon!! Yowsa! And in an unrelated segment, a nurse quits her job and is asked to give back her uniform. The problem: she's nude underneath.

"Nude a Go Go" is a Harry Novak-lensed short subject circa 1965 of topless women go-go dancing. Boring stuff, with none of Novak's trademark women from KISS ME QUICK to spice things up.

And now for the highlight of the DVD: "Breast Orgy"! An incredibly lucky guy is first slobbered over by the amazing cult icon Uschi Digart. Then Candy Samples saunters over and starts smothering the guy with her over-the-top bust. Enter Marsha Jordan stage left to pop out her fabulous ya-ya's. Not to mention three unnamed actresses who aren't so bad themselves. No sex in this short, just plenty of breast for all the fetishists out there who will be cheated by the feature films!! Marsha makes a whipped cream sundae out of her breast with a nipple as the cherry!! Candy massages her breasts in honey!! Uschi smacks the guy around the face with her breasts!! Argh! An amazing viewing experience that will have fans of all three ladies (appearing together for the first, last and only time!) gasping for air!

Two galleries are here: the same Harry Novak exploitation art gallery that appears on CUZZINS/PLOWBOY, and a Harry Novak publicity photo gallery that features different photos from the companion disc. All in all, a disappointing disc with a few neon bright spots. At least for this disc, Something Weird has become Something Pointless. (Casey Scott)

BACK TO REVIEWS

HOME