WILD GUITAR (1962)/THE CHOPPERS (1961)
Directors: Ray Dennis Steckler, Leigh Jason
Something Weird Video/Image Entertainment

Beginning in 1961, the drive-ins of America were plagued by a series of low-budget films starring the all-American boy next door: Arch Hall, Jr. Never mind that he would never set foot in front of the cameras if his father wasn't the director or producer of his films, let alone sing in them! In just about all of them, the ears of the viewers were paralyzed by the obnoxious lyrics and vocals of the young Hall, Jr., singing ditties like "Valerie" in EEGAH! or "Vicki" in WILD GUITAR (....uh, and in EEGAH!). And weird is definitely the word to use when describing the attraction that every female in the cast feels for Arch Hall, Jr., so it's only fitting that Something Weird offer a DVD double feature of arguably the young lad's most obscure films.

Boy, Hollywood is sure a terrible place! And young innocent Bud Eagle (our hero Arch Hall, Jr.) learns that first-hand in WILD GUITAR, produced by Hall, Jr. and also co-written by the senior Hall under his regular pseudonym Nicolas Merriwether. Young Bud rides into town on his trusty motorbike and stops for a bite to eat a diner, where he meets pretty young Vicki (Nancy Czar), another young hopeful with stars in her eyes. Vicki falls head over heels for Bud and lands him a spot on an "American Bandstand"-type variety show, where surprisingly Bud wows the audience and the nation with his less-than-catchy country rock-a-billy tunes. Before he knows it, Mike McCauley (played with panache by Hall, Sr.) snaps up Bud for his label and in no time has the whippersnapper under his thumb. McCauley even pays off teenagers to form Bud Eagle Fan Clubs in their local high schools!! But will Bud forget his true love Vicki? Does the fact that he writes a love tune aptly titled "Vicki" answer your question? It gets pretty wild with a paid stripper and a group of bumbling kidnapers who make the Bowery Boys' inane antics look downright sophisticated in comparison. And let's not forget the sadistic, borderline psychotic Steak, McCauley's henchman played in a money-saving move by "Cash Flagg," aka director Ray Dennis Steckler.

WILD GUITAR is, dare I say it, ahead of its time, in terms of portraying Hollywood as the soul-sucking abyss that it is. Unfortunately, this being a teenie-bopper flick, it all ends with a happy beach romp set to Arch Hall, Jr.'s guitar strumming. It would have been interesting to see Bud turn into a junkie/alcoholic and self-destruct into a slobbering pile of flesh. Ah well. Nothing warms the soul more than to know that Arch Hall, Jr.'s doughy face can now be seen in a gorgeous transfer that is windowboxed during the opening credits, then closes up through the duration of the film. And "Vicki" has never sounded better than here (is that a good thing?). WILD GUITAR also serves as the DVD debut of the cinema of Ray Dennis Steckler, director of such wild cult items as INCREDIBLY STRANGE CREATURES WHO STOPPED LIVING AND BECAME MIXED-UP ZOMBIES and THE THRILL KILLERS.

Let's move on to THE CHOPPERS, a grittier and more unique quickie. This marked Arch Hall, Jr.'s big-screen debut, and he looks considerably thinner and sounds more obnoxious and whiny than in his later, more popular outings. The title invites visions of axe-wielding teens beheading little old ladies and smashing down houses, but no such excitement is seen here. Arch Hall, Sr. directs the tale of a group of juvenile delinquents who make a few quick bucks by tracking down cars left by their lonesome on the side of the road, then taking them apart and taking the parts back to a sleazy junkyard run by B-movie favorite Bruno VeSota (the lovesick hick in GIANT LEECHES). Oh the horror! And all this mayhem is covered up by the boys using a truck loaded with live chickens as their getaway vehicle! Yowsa! Snicker as investigating cops brush chicken feathers off their shoulders, little knowing they are their only clues!!

In a film only 56 minutes long, THE CHOPPERS feels much longer, which can be good and bad. Playboy centerfold Marianne Gaba is easy on the eyes, but I would have rather seen her as a Chopper moll and not as the girlfriend of the hero cop. Sexy bad girls are so much more satisfying in exploitation films, don't you think? None of the characters are really very likable. Should we root for the snot-nosed little punks ripping apart citizens' automobiles or the so-boring-they're-deadly lawmen tracking them down? Neither are very interesting, so the film is a good B-feature to WILD GUITAR, a better-made exploiter which is in the long run more entertaining. The transfer for CHOPPERS isn't nearly as good as the WILD GUITAR print, but for a black-and-white film probably mistreated over the years, it's acceptable.

Instead of touting the disc as the "Arch Hall, Jr." disc, this is instead proclaimed a "Teens Go Wild Double Feature." The requisite WILD GUITAR and CHOPPERS trailers are here (the CHOPPERS trailer is better than the film, for sure), but also some sore-thumb previews make their way onto the platter. THE BEATNIKS is similar plot-wise to WILD GUITAR, but the film is pretty boring and the trailer can't hide that. MARRIED TOO YOUNG is of interest for a young Marianna Hill glimpsed in the preview. RAT FINK is another rock-and-roll j.d. flick with no relation to RAT PFINK A BOO BOO from GUITAR director Ray Dennis Steckler (which would have been a good trailer to include here). TEENAGE ZOMBIES is a guilty pleasure out on disc from Retromedia. And WILD LOVE and WILD ONES ON WHEELS are typical j.d. previews. Where are previews for EEGAH!, THE NASTY RABBIT, DEADWOOD 76, and THE SADIST? This would have been the perfect disc you love to hate if it were packed with Arch Hall, Jr. goodies, but instead it's pretty generic stuff.

Two dancin' short subjects, DANCE CRAZE and TWIST CRAZE are nowhere near as wild as their titles describe. These aren't too crazy and the dancing is kind of a drag. Yawn. HOT CAR is a "prevent crime" short subject which fits perfectly with the CHOPPERS feature. The real star extra is surprisingly the Gallery of Exploitation Art with Radio Spot Rarities. Good stuff, as usual, but I had kinda hoped that it would be a pleasure to enjoy this after having perused over more enjoyable features. Sorry, SWV slipped up on this one.

WILD GUITAR/THE CHOPPERS is a good introduction to the masochistic cinema of Arch Hall, Jr. Where is he now? What is he doing? And does he know that he is the object of so much love/hatred? Does he still sing "Vicki" to girls young enough to be his daughters now? Does Arch ever feel the need to strip a car stranded on the side of the road? But most importantly, did he lose the baby fat and cut his out-of-control hair??!! Get this disc now, Arch is waiting for you! "I love you Vicki, you know I do!" (Casey Scott)

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